Taking Evolution of Human Sexuality has reminded me of pheromones and the subtle attractiveness of a fertile woman. Precious. Seriously though, I've had more solid interactions with guys in the last week than the last three months.
So I sit here in the catering break room reflecting on these happenings.
What did I do different? Nothing.
Was I looking? No more than usual.
What does that mean? Do I usually seek guys out? No.
Do I actively dissuade them from looking my way? Absolutely.
So why the testosterone packed week??
I look to them for answers. You have the longtime unrequited crush who suddenly resumes his drunken "No really though I think you're so cute" (as if that would ever be enough to make me stay). And the study buddy in an 'open relationship' with his long term girlfriend. That one is actually sort of an inspiration, their story is very sweet and conversation flows freer than oxygen. And last the older, witty charmer who put a smile on my frozen face since minute one.
The truth is nothing has changed. Maybe I showered an extra day this week. My self esteem, insecurities, and confidence are as low as ever. Or are they? Maybe these months without a continuous, bad relationship have made me give up so thoroughly everyone can see it. Maybe the way I just don't care anymore shows on my face. Maybe instead of seeing a lonely, needy girl there is a removed, stable woman. Maybe they can tell that I'm content with being me.
Or maybe it's the pheromones.
