I'll be honest, I'm a little drunk. Not a lot, just a little. Enough that I wasn't 100% confident driving home, only 95%. Enough that after weeks and weeks of just staring at the 'New Entry' link I can finally say something. Whether it is something worthwhile remains to be seen, good luck.
Honestly? I miss Luke. I miss him from the bottom of my heart and with every fiber of my being. I said today that even though I haven't seen him in a month or talked to him in three weeks, if he asked me I would marry him tomorrow and I mean that. I don't mean it because I'm so in love with him I can't breathe I mean it because I crave that comfort and familiarity. I want his hands on my sides and his breath on my neck. There isn't a single part of him I don't miss-even the attitude and the smoking and the past we couldn't shake.
I sat there and cried and screamed to ask my dad for two things. One was a sign of what I should do with my life and the other was "God Dad can I please just have him? Please just let me have Luke and I'll be the happiest girl in the world." Sooooo I figured out a way to UO which I guess counts as the 'what to do with my life' but then Luke left me so I supposed Dad didn't think it was right.
Dad should be here, did you know that? He should be here to meet Luke and pick me up when I'm too drunk to drive and listen to my problems. I miss him too. He's supposed to be here. I miss him more than I miss Luke, in completely different ways. How do I ever get over it, all this loneliness? Does it ever go away?
